i feel really bad for leaving you guys:( once again, message me if you want my new url because i just made it, and i’ll reply to the messages i’ve already been sent now to give it out. if i know you personally though, i’m not sharing anymore. i’m sorry.
to anyone who actually cares, I’m making a new tumblr. I’m keeping this one, and I might still use it occasionally or come back to it, but I’m not just throwing out my new URL. message me if you want it and once I make it I’ll likely give it to you. unless I know you personally, in which case I probably won’t. sorry.
there aren’t many things as calming as laying in a comfortable bed, with someone you love unconditionally, wrapped up in soft, light blankets, in paradise, so early that no one else is awake, doors wide open with not even a screen, listening to the waves crashing on the shore and the birds singing good morning, feeling the fresh air swimming through your room, taking in the scents of sea breeze and shampoo in your hair, letting go of reality because this is here and now and that’s all that matters anymore
best laughs. I’m not sure why I enjoy those two words together so much. I feel like it describes a lot more than I originally planned for it to. I have the best laughs when I’m with my best friends. my time with them is so rich and pure. they know my sense of humor down to the core. and my best friends also have some of the best laughs. some of the most outrageous sounds come out of all of our mouths when we find something unbearably hilarious, which proceeds to make us laugh even harder. but it still goes beyond that. it seeks like laughing is really just the best thing a person can do. it cures what we thought would have no relief and drowns out the rest of this harsh world. it makes me think of myself sitting on the bench swing of my front porch when I’m older, reminiscing on these days. thinking back to the stories I heard, the stories I made. and the laughs I had over them all. the best laughs of my life.
pull yourself out. think like him and pull yourself out. your friends don’t not care about you. you all live busy lives. stop over thinking it and feeling like they haven’t kept up because they don’t care. you’re teenagers and you forget and you’re busy and things don’t always prioritize themselves in your brain on their own. talk to them. make amends. get back up. be who you were. even if you keep failing. you tried. you don’t even need to try as hard as you were. in certain situations, just let it flow. let things work themselves out. but don’t let go. and thank him for teaching you how to think correctly. for pulling you out of depression time and time again, by ultimately teaching you how to do it yourself. he’s different than the rest, because more so than just putting a smile on your face, he’s taught you to do it for yourself as well. but not under any circumstances does that mean to let go. just because he taught you an important lesson already, doesn’t mean that’s the only one he is destined to. nor does it mean that anybody else could give you that same smile. keep the boy. he’s everything.
I’m getting really frustrated that I haven’t seen results yet. I started eating healthy and working out everyday at the start of this year and I still look like the same fat blob.
I don’t even know what’s going on right now. I don’t know why I decided this was a good idea. all I know is that I don’t like how it turned out. I wanted to try not trying. and rather than my friends stepping in to keep up the relationship, they all just let it go. I don’t know what that means, but it just makes me feel like everything has been such a lie. I can’t stand this. I feel like I’m losing my mind, and everything else too.